Johnnie's Beef

To me, Johnnie’s is more than just a beef stand. It is the reason I have a fine appreciation for the Italian beef sandwich and the motivation for me to be a part of our blog. I have been eating at Johnnie’s for longer than I can remember. If the IB had its own religion, Johnnie’s would be the holy land. Mmmmm, sacrilicious.

Johnnie’s offers a variety of menu options but I can honestly say that I have never heard someone order anything but an Italian beef and/or sausage sandwich. This Chicago favorite keeps customers lined out the door from open until close every day of the week. But don’t let the wait discourage you, the line moves quickly. This is mainly due to the Soup Nazi-esque man operating the cash register. Make sure you are ready when it is your turn to order because he moves fast with little patience.

My mouth instantly began to water when I walked through the door. After getting my sandwich and walking outside to the picnic tables where everyone was sitting, I was so excited I found myself grinning. I went for the full dip, as usual. In my opinion, the more au jus, the better. I’m thinking about trying to market it as a beverage. The beef itself is almost shredded rather than sliced, making it tender and flavorful. The bread held the sandwich together well without being too chewy. The hot peppers offered a good mix of heat and flavor to the sandwich without overwhelming it. Tasters did not agree, however, on the quality of the sweet peppers. Some found them to be too soft with little flavor, but others found them to be a nice complement. I recommend getting both.

The sandwich was smaller than other places we have visited but it costs just over $3 so if you are feeling hungry, we say go for two. One important weakness, no cheese. A good mozzarella or provolone can add serious points to a sandwich’s rating. Overall, the beef was one of the best we have had, earning an average rating of 8.4 sans mozz (this would have been higher, but one blogger was PMS-ing that day). The homemade lemon ice is a great accompaniment to the sandwich on a hot day (order the large).

The French fries were nice and crispy earning a rating of 8 even. You get a good sized portion, but nothing like the massive heap we have found at many other places. Make sure you ask for ketchup when you get your bag of food at the counter. The guy manning the fryers packages it in a folded sheet of wax paper, which for some reason was listed as a con (stupid Sir-Beefs-A-Lot).

The verdict: Johnnie’s is a must for all Italian beef enthusiasts. Skip this one on your beef tour and you might as well give up now.

Beef – 8.4
Fries – 8
L/A – 6

Credit Cards – No
Bathrooms – No
Pop Selection – Pepsi products

7500 W North Ave
Elmwood Park, IL 60707
(708) 452-6000

JuicyBeef

Carm's Italian Beef

I am a disgrace to our beef blog. We went to Carm’s on 4/7/07. Now, over 3 months later, I am finally posting my review. I apologize for my lack of dedication and general disrespect to our readers. On with the review…

Carm’s, located just a few blocks west of the UIC campus, reminds me of my grandpa’s basement, which hasn’t been remodeled since it was built in the ‘70’s. The dark wood grain walls and white fluorescent lights made for a less than inviting atmosphere. Seating was limited to a counter facing the wall lined with a few stools. The staff, however, was superb. The guy working the register, inevitably the owner, was a true Chicago Italian with a thick south-side accent.

Having visited several beef stands since our trip to Carm’s, I had trouble at first trying to remember what the food was like, which has apparently become the best description of our experience…nothing special. The sandwich was about average, earning a rating of 6.7. The au jus was more oily than juicy, which made the beef slightly tougher. The bread held the sandwich together well and the mozzarella added some good flavor. I enjoy my beef with hot peppers. To my disappointment, the peppers at Carm’s added a marginal amount of flavor and little heat. The sweet pepper enthusiasts, however, had no complaints.

Where the beef had fallen short, the fries picked up the slack with an 8.2 rating. They were crispy and golden brown on the outside and soft on the inside. The bag was large enough for two people unless, of course, you are the Beef King. He had no problem finishing them off by himself.

Oddly, one of the defining characteristics of Carm’s is the Fontano’s Subs across the street, a favorite from our hometown. Our conclusion: the beef was good but fell short of the high expectations that Carms’ reputation led us to anticipate.

Beef - 6.7
Fries - 8.2
L/A - 7.2

Credit Cards: No
Bathrooms: No
Pop Selection: Coke products including Pibb

1057 W. Polk
Chicago, IL
(312)738-1046

JuicyBeef

The Patio

Walking out of The Patio on Chicago's near south side, I found myself lost and confused. I needed guidance. How could a restaurant have such a solid grasp on how to make an Italian Beef sandwich, yet neglect all other aspects of the beef experience? I wasn't sure how I felt about the place. Should I recommend it to my legion of loyal readers? We all know I have the power to make or break this eatery.

I am the Beef King.

Such a detrimental decision necessitated some advice from a wise and noble book that would steer me to make the righteous choice.

Psalm 91 from the Book of Beef:

5 Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by soggy fries,
Nor for the apathy that flieth by day;
6 For the pestilence that walketh in darkness,
Nor for the sweet peppers that wasteth at noonday

I had to dig deep for this one, but this psalm from a not-so-credible source really captures the identity of The Patio in four simple lines and also shows why people should give this bistro a try. A line-by-line analysis will help explain how I came up with this decision.

Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by soggy fries,

The Patio follows the standard of serving up its fried potato slices. That is until you ask for ketchup. At this point, they douse your bag o' carbs, wrap it and serve you a soggy mess of fries. With the benefit of hindsight, it is safe to say I should've asked for the ketchup on the side. My experience would've been much better if I had had been able to foresee this ordering mistake, but instead I had to endure the pain of not having a decent order of fries. But focus on the first five words of the line here as they are the most important in the entire psalm: "Thou shalt not be afraid."

Nor for the apathy that flieth by day;

Another aspect of the restaurant that you should be forewarned about is the less than spectacular service. While one of our servers was very friendly and lovingly referred to all of us as "Hun," or "Doll," the other employees of the Patio had really lost the passion for their job. They served one of our beef bloggers pop with little to no carbonation. They must have been exhausted from making such delicious beef and didn't want to put up with some fat guy's dream of creating a beef blog. Again, this is nothing to be afraid of.

For the pestilence that walketh in darkness

The entire aura of the restaurant was dark. The lack of lighting accompanied by aged tiles and dark-brown wooden panels on the walls gave a musky feel to the beefery. If you added the staunch smell of cigarettes and whiskey with a 55 year old man that looked 85 sitting in the corner, I would've guessed it was a dive bar.

The layout of the beef stand was austere as well. The seating consisted of nine bar stools beneath a counter opposite the front with about half the stools positioned directly next to a trash can–needless to say the seating wasn't plentiful. The parking situation wasn't great seeing as how the stand is located in middle of the UIC campus where parking is limited. All of these factors really took away from The Patio's Location/Ambiance rating–but really nothing to make one timorous.

Nor for the sweet peppers that wasteth at noonday

To my own record, only one beef blogger ordered the sweet peppers. One of the other sweet pepper regulars decided to try out the other side of the rainbow and go with the hot giardenara (Way to go, Sir Beefs-a-Lot!). However, the Beefman noted that the sweet peppers had no taste and really no crunch. But that's only the sweet peppers.

While these four lines illustrate the truly frightening nature of The Patio's ancillary features, there is nothing to fear from the restaurant's main attraction, a delicious Italian Beef sandwich. The actual sandwich was almost celestial in its own right. The first bite brings a surge of tender and juicy beef, marinated for hours and sliced thinly to really deliver the perfect contour of a beef sandwich. The au jus was plentiful and with a perfect compliment of sturdy but soft bread the sandwich actually delivered a mouthful of the delicious broth with every bite. It can really only be described as "melting" in your mouth, a sensation that any beef lover will enjoy. The hot giardenera did not lack any punch, as it was filled with flavor and packed plenty of heat. The only downfall of the sandwich was that the mozzarella cheese did not have a strong presence in the sandwich.

So the question still stands, do I recommend this beef joint to my legion of readers? Absolutely. The Patio offers a delicious beef sandwich that bestows a unique and very pleasant contour and feel to the sandwich, and the flavor is exceptional as well. The reality is that we have visited many beef stands in our quest to find Chicago's greatest, and we only plan to visit more. For me to consider a beef stand worthy of a second or third visit means that I was highly satisfied with my sandwich, enough so to forgo finding a new sandwich to revisit a past acquaintance. For what it's worth, I'll definitely be visiting the Patio again.

Beef - 8.2
Fries - 5.2
L/A - 4.9

Credit Cards: No
Bathrooms: No
Pop selection: Coke Products.

1503 W Taylor St
Chicago, IL 60607
312-829-0454

The Beef King