Walking out of The Patio on Chicago's near south side, I found myself lost and confused. I needed guidance. How could a restaurant have such a solid grasp on how to make an Italian Beef sandwich, yet neglect all other aspects of the beef experience? I wasn't sure how I felt about the place. Should I recommend it to my legion of loyal readers? We all know I have the power to make or break this eatery.
I am the Beef King.
Such a detrimental decision necessitated some advice from a wise and noble book that would steer me to make the righteous choice.
Psalm 91 from the Book of Beef:
5 Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by soggy fries,
Nor for the apathy that flieth by day;
6 For the pestilence that walketh in darkness,
Nor for the sweet peppers that wasteth at noonday
I had to dig deep for this one, but this psalm from a not-so-credible source really captures the identity of The Patio in four simple lines and also shows why people should give this bistro a try. A line-by-line analysis will help explain how I came up with this decision.
Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by soggy fries,
The Patio follows the standard of serving up its fried potato slices. That is until you ask for ketchup. At this point, they douse your bag o' carbs, wrap it and serve you a soggy mess of fries. With the benefit of hindsight, it is safe to say I should've asked for the ketchup on the side. My experience would've been much better if I had had been able to foresee this ordering mistake, but instead I had to endure the pain of not having a decent order of fries. But focus on the first five words of the line here as they are the most important in the entire psalm: "Thou shalt not be afraid."
Nor for the apathy that flieth by day;
Another aspect of the restaurant that you should be forewarned about is the less than spectacular service. While one of our servers was very friendly and lovingly referred to all of us as "Hun," or "Doll," the other employees of the Patio had really lost the passion for their job. They served one of our beef bloggers pop with little to no carbonation. They must have been exhausted from making such delicious beef and didn't want to put up with some fat guy's dream of creating a beef blog. Again, this is nothing to be afraid of.
For the pestilence that walketh in darkness
The entire aura of the restaurant was dark. The lack of lighting accompanied by aged tiles and dark-brown wooden panels on the walls gave a musky feel to the beefery. If you added the staunch smell of cigarettes and whiskey with a 55 year old man that looked 85 sitting in the corner, I would've guessed it was a dive bar.
The layout of the beef stand was austere as well. The seating consisted of nine bar stools beneath a counter opposite the front with about half the stools positioned directly next to a trash can–needless to say the seating wasn't plentiful. The parking situation wasn't great seeing as how the stand is located in middle of the UIC campus where parking is limited. All of these factors really took away from The Patio's Location/Ambiance rating–but really nothing to make one timorous.
Nor for the sweet peppers that wasteth at noonday
To my own record, only one beef blogger ordered the sweet peppers. One of the other sweet pepper regulars decided to try out the other side of the rainbow and go with the hot giardenara (Way to go, Sir Beefs-a-Lot!). However, the Beefman noted that the sweet peppers had no taste and really no crunch. But that's only the sweet peppers.
While these four lines illustrate the truly frightening nature of The Patio's ancillary features, there is nothing to fear from the restaurant's main attraction, a delicious Italian Beef sandwich. The actual sandwich was almost celestial in its own right. The first bite brings a surge of tender and juicy beef, marinated for hours and sliced thinly to really deliver the perfect contour of a beef sandwich. The au jus was plentiful and with a perfect compliment of sturdy but soft bread the sandwich actually delivered a mouthful of the delicious broth with every bite. It can really only be described as "melting" in your mouth, a sensation that any beef lover will enjoy. The hot giardenera did not lack any punch, as it was filled with flavor and packed plenty of heat. The only downfall of the sandwich was that the mozzarella cheese did not have a strong presence in the sandwich.
So the question still stands, do I recommend this beef joint to my legion of readers? Absolutely. The Patio offers a delicious beef sandwich that bestows a unique and very pleasant contour and feel to the sandwich, and the flavor is exceptional as well. The reality is that we have visited many beef stands in our quest to find Chicago's greatest, and we only plan to visit more. For me to consider a beef stand worthy of a second or third visit means that I was highly satisfied with my sandwich, enough so to forgo finding a new sandwich to revisit a past acquaintance. For what it's worth, I'll definitely be visiting the Patio again.
Beef - 8.2
Fries - 5.2
L/A - 4.9
Credit Cards: No
Bathrooms: No
Pop selection: Coke Products.
1503 W Taylor St
Chicago, IL 60607
312-829-0454
The Beef King
I am the Beef King.
Such a detrimental decision necessitated some advice from a wise and noble book that would steer me to make the righteous choice.
Psalm 91 from the Book of Beef:
5 Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by soggy fries,
Nor for the apathy that flieth by day;
6 For the pestilence that walketh in darkness,
Nor for the sweet peppers that wasteth at noonday
I had to dig deep for this one, but this psalm from a not-so-credible source really captures the identity of The Patio in four simple lines and also shows why people should give this bistro a try. A line-by-line analysis will help explain how I came up with this decision.
Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by soggy fries,
The Patio follows the standard of serving up its fried potato slices. That is until you ask for ketchup. At this point, they douse your bag o' carbs, wrap it and serve you a soggy mess of fries. With the benefit of hindsight, it is safe to say I should've asked for the ketchup on the side. My experience would've been much better if I had had been able to foresee this ordering mistake, but instead I had to endure the pain of not having a decent order of fries. But focus on the first five words of the line here as they are the most important in the entire psalm: "Thou shalt not be afraid."
Nor for the apathy that flieth by day;
Another aspect of the restaurant that you should be forewarned about is the less than spectacular service. While one of our servers was very friendly and lovingly referred to all of us as "Hun," or "Doll," the other employees of the Patio had really lost the passion for their job. They served one of our beef bloggers pop with little to no carbonation. They must have been exhausted from making such delicious beef and didn't want to put up with some fat guy's dream of creating a beef blog. Again, this is nothing to be afraid of.
For the pestilence that walketh in darkness
The entire aura of the restaurant was dark. The lack of lighting accompanied by aged tiles and dark-brown wooden panels on the walls gave a musky feel to the beefery. If you added the staunch smell of cigarettes and whiskey with a 55 year old man that looked 85 sitting in the corner, I would've guessed it was a dive bar.
The layout of the beef stand was austere as well. The seating consisted of nine bar stools beneath a counter opposite the front with about half the stools positioned directly next to a trash can–needless to say the seating wasn't plentiful. The parking situation wasn't great seeing as how the stand is located in middle of the UIC campus where parking is limited. All of these factors really took away from The Patio's Location/Ambiance rating–but really nothing to make one timorous.
Nor for the sweet peppers that wasteth at noonday
To my own record, only one beef blogger ordered the sweet peppers. One of the other sweet pepper regulars decided to try out the other side of the rainbow and go with the hot giardenara (Way to go, Sir Beefs-a-Lot!). However, the Beefman noted that the sweet peppers had no taste and really no crunch. But that's only the sweet peppers.
While these four lines illustrate the truly frightening nature of The Patio's ancillary features, there is nothing to fear from the restaurant's main attraction, a delicious Italian Beef sandwich. The actual sandwich was almost celestial in its own right. The first bite brings a surge of tender and juicy beef, marinated for hours and sliced thinly to really deliver the perfect contour of a beef sandwich. The au jus was plentiful and with a perfect compliment of sturdy but soft bread the sandwich actually delivered a mouthful of the delicious broth with every bite. It can really only be described as "melting" in your mouth, a sensation that any beef lover will enjoy. The hot giardenera did not lack any punch, as it was filled with flavor and packed plenty of heat. The only downfall of the sandwich was that the mozzarella cheese did not have a strong presence in the sandwich.
So the question still stands, do I recommend this beef joint to my legion of readers? Absolutely. The Patio offers a delicious beef sandwich that bestows a unique and very pleasant contour and feel to the sandwich, and the flavor is exceptional as well. The reality is that we have visited many beef stands in our quest to find Chicago's greatest, and we only plan to visit more. For me to consider a beef stand worthy of a second or third visit means that I was highly satisfied with my sandwich, enough so to forgo finding a new sandwich to revisit a past acquaintance. For what it's worth, I'll definitely be visiting the Patio again.
Beef - 8.2
Fries - 5.2
L/A - 4.9
Credit Cards: No
Bathrooms: No
Pop selection: Coke Products.
1503 W Taylor St
Chicago, IL 60607
312-829-0454
The Beef King
1 comment:
This is the best blog I have ever read thank you!
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